71 degrees on the gulf coast feelin like 85!!! Muggy!

If I'm ever an embarrassment please apologize to the offended person for me, I'm also to much of a realist to feel insecure.

Starting the day with russell simmons show Ruckus on the DVR lmao!

Question: Instead of always trying to figure out the wording and intent of the constitution why don't we just translate it into current terms every 100 years or so... keep the original around of course... I'm just saying if they sit there and do so on a case by case basis can't they just do the whole thing? It's not that long...

Life is like a basketball game with the movement, hustle, and strategy... so why are you on the court playing freeze tag? SMH...

People ask me why do I aim so high and dream so big... I answer you don't choose your dreams, they choose you...

Since the first time I ever stepped onto the stage I've been able to see myself with a packed house of 2,200 there to see my show vision

How're you going to sit there and even try to justify to me not finishing what YOU started out to do. Nobody said life would be easy. Make some choices and Get er done!

The birthers are hard at work in Georgia...LOL ya'll need to go occupyGA

If you find that your goals are never getting accomplished, or you lack passion and desire in them, you need to check to make sure they're your goals in the first place.

est 6.5 million people are either in jail, prison, or on probation in America...

Though it has its problems, My country will kick your country's ass USA USA USA!!! Whats so wrong with that?

Today is "I pity the Fool" Day... Do not turn down the opportunity to call someone a fool! Call it like it is!

"A friend is one who walks in when others walk out." ~ Walter Winchell

I'm so glad ya'll have such high expectations of me... I've already won...

Good morning start this week by getting excited about some things, get pumped, jump up and down, work out and tell life Lets Do This!!!

The reason why successful people are found in groups is because they know how to lead and when to follow!

My life is so awesome that only the word awesome can describe its awesomeness!

who calls women skanks anymore?

Why don't I ever get spam that says like date hot black chicks from Delaware...

I just got a tweet saying I can meet hot Russian chicks for free! Oh happy Day!!! thereisaGod

She said to me that if I was gay that we could be friends, I told her if she wasn't we could be more, but just once or twice for 30 minutes

I would not date me in a lace front wig, a shaper, and some pumps... girl you look like me!!!

If you don't know about Pablo "you need to get your head in the game!... He's all up in your sh!t, all up in it!!!"

If I met the female version of myself I'd be like you're a manly looking woman!!!

Say it loud I'M BROWN AND I'M PROUD!

I hope everyone is having a Terrific Pablo day!

Up in this kitchen cooking some curry mullet roe! Ya know!!!

Why this lady next to me in walmart just let out a monster fart! Mission aborted! The occupation maybe over!!! OMG, hold ur breath everybody!

Instead of always trying to win, which some perceive as arrogance, just strive to never lose which some perceive as confidence...

Success is merely the lack of failure... Make it happen...

I'm makin short term goals, when the weather folds just put away the leathers and put ice on the gold.

I'm on year 11 of a 5 year plan and so far I've made it to year 3... Never quit!

headed to go occupy a walmart near you!

AWard: poet, essayist, novelist, actor, youth motivational speaker, political consultant, Web, Radio, TV personality, comic, Filmmaker, Marketing Consultant listed in the Harvard Business Review... B.S. in Marketing AAMU, MSc Project Management Villanova... Any Questions?

Is it time to step up to the 8GB SD card or better? Bigger things on the horizon people! 2GB just wont do anymore...

Steve Jobs just unveiled iGhost.

The only people who doubt the power of education are the uneducated or those who have interest in exploiting ignorance...

Darn it I missed the state of the union but I now know how to create a solar energy system that feeds into the smart grid earning me $...

state of the union versus on demand video on the latest advances in science and tech? I think I'm going with developing hand held death rays

I haven't watched a state of the union since the 90's but this one has been heavily promoted! I'll catch the highlights online considering I know the state of the union already... next time send me a state of the union tweet... lol

I propose that technology has now allowed for a 4th branch of government to be created, the popular vote. This way the idiocracy of mob rule can destroy not only this country but the world...

I have the best family and friends support system you could ever imagine. Even my ex's... I must be one cool dude...

I'm not arrogant, I just think that anyone who does it better than me is the best because I'm so great...

I don't need an alarm clock... At 7am my east coast bill collectors clock in and call, 8am CST, 9am MST, 10am PST...

Just realized I want to work for comedy central and I've never even applied... WTH?

"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them." - Mark Twain

Where are my beautiful, intelligent, hard working friends this morning?

Yeah I do stand up. I don't know if I should be considered a comic yet, but I am foolish enough to speak my mind and smart enough to not care what you think about it.

Today is fire somebody from your life day! You know you want to do it... today's the day...

Someone once asked me how to make their business successful I told them fire their employees and hire some harvard grads or ivy league at least

Someone once asked me how to make their business successful I told them fire their employees and hire some havard grads or ivy league at least

This just in! Mel Gibson is going to remake Roots in 3D! www.melgibsonroots3D.com

I'd like to announce that today food stamps, EBT etc are selling for 70 cents to the dollar. Thats $100 EBT for $70 bucks... Thank you...

If you don't close, you're closed.

I don't care what your business is I need to know a few good closers...

OMGG! My DVD will available from amazon as a download or rental in a few days! I feel so professional, coming on the heel's of my first film screening I'm speechless!!!

I have seen the light! Not getting back into the dating pool, apparently it creates relationships!!! will stick with this we just messin around, I'm good at this...

Haters are your best advertisers, they keep up the good work because they keep talking about you... Yes, Thank them... It's called word of mouth advertising...

I went to a counselor once, he told me that I was one of the most clear headed rational people he'd ever met and clearly didn't need counseling, and I told him maybe that's my problem. He agreed, there's a lot of crazies out in the world...

Smart's the new sexy in 2012!

To all the ladies out there with their MBA's you are so beautiful! Yeeeah baby!

I'm not one to brag saying oh I'm so handsome this or that but I will argue you down that I am not ugly no no noooo lol!

I might get back into the dating pool... Have to find a woman with a business degree or else we can't communicate... Communication is so important!

OMG HELL YEEEEAH! THEY LOVE MY FILM!!!!! THANKS TIFF!!!!! THE BIG SCREEN!

I've always understood women who say they want a man with a certain income level if the woman at least matches or exceeds it! Financial intelligence is a must!

Some of your wants are actually needs just for you that's what makes you different, so you need to want to make it happen...

Todays the day!!! Movie time!

I think most of my twitter followers are twitterbots...

You're out on a date and she says you look great where'd you go shopping? The right answer is girl you look fantastic! Dont talk about yourself trustme

One a date you mention your frat & degree's she mentions her love of thugs... Dont pay for dinner... trustme

On a date she says " you know how you people are"... This is not cool fellas trustme

You drive over to pick up your date and she suggests you should take separate cars, guys this means somethings not going right... trustme

You're out on a date and she says "You are sooo smart!" guys this means somethings not going right... trust me...

I is Kind, I is Smart, I is Important...

All my life I've been the hype man for others saying: buy my friend's album its hot, go to this event you'll love it, eat at this or that spot, but shy & begging folks to support my own work... Not 2012 baby! My stuff is hot, you'll love it! Buy it now!

Weird is the new sexy...

So the consensus is in... My latest short video is 'weird', of course I think its brillant lol... It goes public on 1-21!

movie, say it with me, because you doesn't want to... (staccato)

retard, say it with me, he left and came back again because he wasn't late enough the first time... (staccato)

Air conditioner, say it with me, he hired a personal trainer with his inheritance... (staccato)

Heat, say it with me he.eat, because she wont let him have any otherwise... (Staccato)

Tomorrow is the first time something I'm in is going to be showed in a movie theater! I thought I told these fools I'm famous!!!

I had no idea so many of ya'll were early birds! I just havent been to sleep yet! Video editing...

I used to have the Black Ceasar soundtrack! That was music!!!

Nothing like a fresh cut to take that swag from full to max!

Can't be an angry black man without at least 357! Barber shop wisdom!

So obeying traffic laws in Prichard is optional??? I guess so... VROOOM watch out!!!

Intelligence is not a burden but is a tool you use to tend to your wisdom...

Every single moment of my life, every breath I take reminds me of the goals I haven't yet accomplished. I'm quite more than intense, baby...

Ages 12 and 13 found me studying advanced military weaponery. 14 to 16 military history, 17 and 18 political strategy and sociology.

I spent most of my time from ages 9 to 11 drawing up military strategies and studying propaganda techniques.

Since I was a child I have only had one idea "Take over the world."

I cannot wait until the government blatently starts passing out Soma. The reasons are my own...

what's the best free audio recording software?

My next video drops 1/21 this saturday!!! I can hardley wait!!!

Making movies is though!!!

What trips me out is when folks are like "this aint just music I really live this way straight gutta" & I'm like so how long have u known that you're retarded?

Babygirls of the world if you just treated your boyfriends like your girlfriends treat you then it'd all work out. PLAYA PLAYA!

In the great chess game of life, nations, kings, and gods there are winners and losers and a bunch of people who haven't figured out that they're just the pawns in the middle...

What you lookin at girl? STAY IN SCHOOL!

Call dis number ASAP Walmart got free gift cards I jus got mine 631-960-7187

The ward tribe knows of the williams tribe and all is good. Also a peace treaty has been agreed to with the people of jones...

Something has stirred the negro tribe that lives on my street corner, they are yelling things in their native language. I cannot make it out. It may mean war

Just found gray hairs two & three in the beard! Time waits for no man! Okay three and four... Maybe more...

2012 is the year of the intellectual... Everyone else's head will be in the sand!

I miss my mini me...

I asked god to make me the type of man women dream about... The next day I hit the lotto

I used to think I was pretty smart but now that I know just how dumb I am I actually think more highly of myself... Remarkable!

www.iamaward.com for Award products, news, and current updates. 'the last angry black man ever' Thank you for appreciating my efforts! - A/

Hey ever pronounce CNN as one word? 'C' 'NN'... Pronounced sin! LoL grab your babies! Run for the hills!!!

About to hit the mic!!! Stand up baby!

P'cola @ the Big Easy Tavern! Comedy night! 10pm! Come thru!

"I figured she's down on her luck, hey i'm down on my luck, who am I to judge?" The First Date episode...

Never be satisfied with less than yourself!

Just got off the mic! Let it do what it do! Told about the story of the date cartoon! LoL!

Gettin ready for the GET CHA MIND RIGHT OPEN MIC! At the purple cafe come on out Mobile!!!

LAWD! They just won a national championship and Alabama fans still can't laugh at a cam newton joke! LoL!

Craziness! This wind is blowing so hard I had to pull over on my way home! Even now its rocking my truck while parked! Trees are bending like a tropical storm!

They just knockin off scientists in iran?!?!? Nigerians protesting? The world has been busy while we've watching football! Cearly they need more sports!

Conspiracy alert! I just found out the movie avatar was about somthing real! We are traveling to pandora learn the truth about nasa! Like my facebook page!!!

Aint nothing wrong with having a plan B when you know plan A has gone on long enough! Reinvent yourself!

Attention attention ethnic peoples 'Red Tails' is not a bootleg movie! I repeat Go see it! And buy the real thing redbox it, netflix it... Etc!

Question? Why does sears need a MLK event for 10% off washing machines and fridges?

I'm the baddest man you've never heard of! Then again you probably have, I'm just that good!

Rumor is LSU tried to suit up cam newton at the half but he couldnt fit jefferson's uniform lol!

What else can I say? The state of Alabama owns college football! Hate it or love it, this run isn't over yet!

Pple cant C the big picture of ur vision cause ur eyes R the window 2 ur soul thats Y U have a mouth to voice it & hands to shape ur vision 4 the outside world

I can't wait to have a daughter, Red Leaf Ward...

I'm never ashamed of failing, only of never trying at all...

Ladies you just posted the nicest new pic and noone clicked like... You're not cute, start showing a little boob action... Maybe sexy is ur thing!

Yeah bout to go occupy Walmart for a while...

Attention guys if every one of her online pics are blurry or have special effects it means in person she'll only be cute when you get drunk.

About to hit the 3,000 mark on my video blog views!!! Thanks! LoL This is fun! Youtube.com/awardcomedy

GOOD MORNING!!! You know I realized something this morning, one day rappers will use my name in songs as a swagger reference! Niiice!

I'm losing my smurfin mind! Whats a smurffa posed to do around mobile on sundays?

Is it time to bench big ben? No dis to a healthy ben but he's limited right now...

I've gotten to old for this...

14 to 10? Who dat!

If you aint first you're last! Ricky BOBBY!

Saints vs Lions up next!

Hate me or love me but I'm pulling for the Texans right now!

NFL PLAYOFFS! Where the real football fans at! Got two rookie QB's going at it! Check them out!

www.iamaward.com for Award products, news, and current updates. 'the last angry black man ever' Thank you for appreciating my efforts! - A/

We gettin straight funky over here!!!

I wasnt born ahead of my time, I was born after it!!! Lets get funky!

Signed up 4 the mobile bay film scramble! Wish me luck! My film has to be made bwtn now & 1/18 and the showing is on 1/20 at the cresent theater downtown!

If you know me, you know i'm going to keep banging on that glass ceiling with this 9mm but I KNOW for sure I'll break thru when my bazooka gets here!

Yeah I am brave/dumb enough to speak my mind but smart enough to know it might not matter... You get it anyway...

Hornets tickets for $3? Nosebleed yes but I gotta go, I may even ball out and get courtside for $15 j/k! Who wants to ride to the N.O.?

Had a setback in the PreOccupied dvd production!

Life's not just about the big piece of chicken, there's legs, wings, and if you're into this gizzards, liver, and feet. I even saw fried chicken skins sold next to pork cracklings once... wow!

I've figured out! The secret of life! We're all part of God's focus group. When we die he's going to bring us in ask us what we liked/disliked about life and give us $5 and a soda. I want grape

What else is a minstrel good for besides pandering to the masses?

Any nice ladies looking to upgrade from their natural ice lifestyle holla at me!

Looking for a woman I can share a PBR with and not feel ashamed...

Freakin espn trolls are the worse! Always trying to have factless arguments and lure you in!

I love my family! My sisters aunts uncles cousins the kiddies! And I miss my son!!! My ex she cool to dont believe ne1 sayin I evah badmouthed ya! They liars!

I have 21,919 unread messages in my gmail inbox SMH... I hope I didn't miss yours... LoL then again I wouldnt know...

Fellas your woman (g/f or wife) just sat you down and told you she doesn't love you anymore, what do you do?

Ladies you love your man but he's becoming a fat slob and refuses to change what do you do now that ur no longer attracted to his tubby behind?

What kind of evil person do you have to be to turn down a well timed, expertly placed high five!!!

Can I get a hand clap for the selfish inconsiderate cynical sociopathic moronic bastards with biiig egos and the women who love them!!!

I dont know nothing, OKAY! Nothing!

When you're in a relationship what do you think of your partner openly talking about what celebrity they'd sleep with?

Still lookin for that jewish woman love of my life!

Would you say love between two people is like mixing oil and water spreading evenly or like a puzzle peice completing the picture of two halves?

Whats more important, to love someone or to be loved by someone?

Whats the time limit before I can be insensitive and joke on people's embarrasing situations? None, days, weeks?

N/A Nonassertive Anonymous fee's are $99 for the first session so reserve your spot today!!! HELP US, HELP YOU!

You might be a brandy catholic or a beer hindu... Even a whisky baptist or wine muslim but once we find your match all your problems will be solved!

There is a 100% garunteed way to fix a lack of assertion, this 2 step process works everytime. Religion and alcohol! We scientifically find ur best fit for each

My assertiveness problem cost me relationships with beautiful women, six figure jobs, opportunies, ruined my business, and my marriage, until I found the cure!

I'm starting a support group for people who need help with being 'assertive' N/A, Nonassertives Anonymous...

Why when U tell a woman U arent lookin for a relationship the 1st thing they try to do is get u in one... issues lol!

If they have internet in hell its called DSL!!! and before you say it dailup is still reserved for hell on earth... I just wanted to make that clear

Why this guy on fanstasy BB trying to trade me bosh for durant??? Crazy!

Happy Leap Year!

Happy end of the world!!! ............... Lol I kid, I kid!

West Coast Happy New Year!!!