Wednesday, May 23, 2012

RT @jewishcomedians: "He who hesitates is poor." ~Mel Brooks Jewish Comedy quotes
To close the gap with young voters Romney chooses Apple's app Siri as his running mate for vice president, even though it's calender only allows him to schedule vacation and retirement for every date past November 2011...

Monday, May 21, 2012

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Join the email list! www.alfredward.blogspot.com
If I had a fan club I'd wear disguises and go to the meetings... and bad mouth myself until I led of group of them into creating a "We Hate Alfred Club" and then reveal my true identity on our one year anniversary... such fun!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

When people ask me how do you do what you do I answer its something you live not just something you do. Acting, comedy, writing, poetry, rap, the list goes on
Join the email list! www.alfredward.blogspot.com

Monday, May 14, 2012

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Starting my email blast up which will replace my constant social networking efforts. Only 500 people allowed for now so inbox me your email address so I can send you an invite!
chicken and waffles or crawfish? hmmmm

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

I think I'm going to stock up on star trek next generation clothing and just wear that for the next ten years... from sleepwear, formal, to the bridge... they had it all!
At the job I like to imagine all the women are just waiting for me to get out of training so I can be assigned to their team... of course I'm going to introduce them to my Polynesian mail order bride fay-fay... as soon as i can find my fedex tracking number

Monday, May 7, 2012

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I'm looking for women to take part in my TV pilot "First Dates with Alfred @ Denny's"
Sobriety always tries to lead me to believe I could possibly be doing something other than what I'm doing right now... That just ain't right I tell ya! Bad Bad sobriety down boy!
Hey americans new to foodstamps if you find them so insulting why dont you stop overburdening the system that helps people who appreciate it
Hitting up the Stardome Comedy Club in B'Ham about the open mic... put me on the list suckaz! Ima rock dat joint!

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Am I the only one who farts in elevators full of people just when I'm stepping off and turns around to see the look on their faces as the door closes...

Saturday, May 5, 2012

RT @garyowencomedy: I know there's piƱatas of @FloydMayweather all over Mexico & Puerto Rico. That's the only way to beat him.
RT @jewishcomedians: "When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her tolook me in the face. That's the price she has to pay." ~Groucho Marx Quotes
Sobriety is scary...
RT @huffingtonpost: WATCH: Kanye's 'Lost in the World' video finally arrived http://t.co/cOLuczmX
Don't forget the supermoon!
Don't forget the supermoon!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Never let ignorance be a reason not to try... Just look at politics, ignorance succeeds a little everyday! Live your dreams!
Since I can't find anyone to play spades or shoot pool who's up for an UNO & LEGO PARTY! ... No One? Screw you guys, I'm going home...
Your word is your bond. Like your balls you break it for no one! My words are more like LEGO blocks. With action figures, shapes and colors!
Girl we can chill at home to floetry as long as we ride out to UGK!
This chick once told me I wasn't thuggish and rough enough for her so I punched her in the gut.... It worked... I was confused...
This chick once told me I wasn't black enough for her, I told her to go look in the mirror and figure out a reason why I should give a damn.
When she said man up I turned off my cartoons and turned on scifi but only util adult swim came on... that's all you're getting!
Instead of continuing the war we should just give everyone in Afghanistan iphones & androids... soon after they'll stop thinking for themselves.......... Look at us! Fight smart not hard!